If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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