i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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