i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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