he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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