he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
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Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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