this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize