You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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