All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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