Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
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shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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