you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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