I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize