I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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