I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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