What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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