so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We were destined to go to rehab together
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize