Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
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i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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