chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize