Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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