The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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