How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
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to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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