Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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