we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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