Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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