her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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