I heard we made out
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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