OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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