Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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