its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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