return my video game
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize