I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sext me about skeletons
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize