Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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