I cockslap morals
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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