listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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