but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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