Screwed.edu
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
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