What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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