i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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