Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize