I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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