Who did Billy Mays play for?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize