Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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