I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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