I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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