he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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