so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
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Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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