She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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