The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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