we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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