I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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