do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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